
| Even though it struck me as odd how Jamie suddenly appeared, again, out of the blue after leaving so abruptly, I was happy she was here and was thrilled to see her again. I understood her motives for leaving but it was difficult to lose shemale clips a best friend after losing Lynn. In that regard, her leaving was a bit selfish, but I chalked that up to her immaturity. After all, I lost Lynn, too, and Jamie and I could have helped one another through our tears and sorrow by staying together longer, at least, until the hurt healed somewhat. Nonetheless, the timing of her resurfacing was good and something that I needed. Before Gwen and her, I was alone and lonely and now after spending time with them, I felt like my old self. Now, I wanted to do things and experience life again instead of getting drunk while watching television. Only, I knew that Jamie was leaving soon, too. I don't know why I knew, I just did. Jamie and I helped Gwen pack her car with her sister's things. Although, I offered them all to her, she allowed me to keep the photos that I took of Lynn, the jewelry I bought her, and a few keepsake reminders of her. It was sad packing up the boxes of Lynn's stuff. None of us relished the idea of going through her closet and drawers, but we did. Along with having a little wine to help numb our way through the process and having one another there for the emotional support, somehow, we packed it all up. Actually, it was easier with the three of us doing it. When one of us came across something that made us nostalgic about Lynn or made us feel melancholy, we picture of shemale had the other two to help us through it with hugs and by sharing the laughter and the tears. Nonetheless, even though she was dead, it felt like we were invading her privacy. It felt like any minute she would walk through the door and catch us going through her private and personal possessions and admonish us for being so insensitive and invasive. We were all still in shock and none of us could believe that she was dead. It felt like a bad dream. It felt like she was still alive and only gone from the house for an extended period of time on a trip and would return. With Lynn dying so suddenly and so tragically, I firmly believe that the good die young. I guess I'll be among the living for a very long time. We said our good-byes complete with hugs, kisses, and promises to stay in touch. Yet, I knew once free tranny movies she left that I would never see Gwen, again. She was a honey of a girl. Whichever lucky guy gets her, certainly, will have his hands full, but boy what a ride. I envy him. If only I was younger, I would never let her leave. A woman that beautiful and that sexually uninhibited is a rare being and a rare find. Still, just as it was all a fluke how Lynn had come in and gone out of my life, it was a fluke that I had hot sex with two 25-year-olds, Lynn and Jamie, and deliriously outrageous sex with Lynn's 23-year-old baby sister, Gwen. Unfortunately, my only real memories left me now of Lynn are the images of her that haunt me and, of course, Seymour, her giant Rhodesian Ridgeback of a dog. When I am alone and lonely, she comes to me in my thoughts and I think of her. Unfortunately, thinking of her makes me sad and makes me feel even more alone and even more lonely. It's a vicious cycle of self-pity, self-indulgence, and depression. Probably, I should join a support group or seek therapy to help me through the loss of her. Probably, I won't, preferring to suffer through it alone and using the loss of her as an excuse to return to drinking. Especially now after meeting Gwen, she filled my mind with the memory of her sister. But for her eyes, it was startling how much she looked like Lynn. Where Lynn had blue-gray eyes against her chestnut brown hair, Gwen had deep mahogany eyes. The contrast of Lynn's light colored eyes was shocking against her dark, lush hair. Gwen made me pine for Lynn. Just when I was beginning to shemale models feel a bit better, shemale videos Gwen arrived to bask me in the shadow of her dead sister. And now she is gone and now I am back to missing my Lynn. I am glad that I still have Jamie here to help me through another day, even if it is only temporary. One day at a time is good advice and what I need to do to get me through the horror of losing Lynn, the love of my life. Nonetheless, it felt good to finally be home alone with Jamie. I felt more connected to Jamie than I did Gwen. Although, I knew that I would never feel the connection with Jamie that I had with Lynn, I still enjoyed Jamie's company and liked having her around. She was fun and she gave life to the house. Unfortunately, nonetheless, it still felt like sex with Jamie and not love. Although there was a shemale video huge sexual attraction between us, that is where it began and ended. I was glad for her visit because I knew that once she left, again, that she would be out of my system and I would have no more second doubts wondering if she and I could have made a trannys go at it. I know now that it was not to be and that she was just a good friend with benefits. For the next few days, I had trouble concentrating on anything but that surprise telephone call and about the upcoming weekend. Lynn's mother, Marianne was coming for a visit to meet me. I free shemale thumbs must have made quite the impression with her family for first Lynn's sister, Gwen, to drive all that way from Rochester, New York east to where shemale personals I lived in Massachusetts and now for her mother to want to meet me, too. It was a long drive. When I thought about the beauty of Lynn and now Gwen, I thought about Marianne and I could not help but wonder what she looked like. I would have met her at the funeral but Lynn's Dad made it clear that he did not want me there and I respected his wishes. It was his daughter after all. Still, I would have appreciated a moment to say good-bye to Lynn in private before they put her in the ground forever. Nonetheless, I did not want to intrude upon the sorrow of their loss by rubbing my presence in their faces. Sure, I would have liked to pay my last respects, but Gwen gave me the location of Lynn's plot and I plan on making a pilgrimage west to Rochester to visit her grave, one day, soon. Seeing her there will make me happy. Maybe, I'll take a chair with me and sit and talk to her for a while. Yeah, I know that she is not there in spirit, but she is there in body. I believe a visit will help to ease me through the reality of her loss and make me feel better. Since Lynn and Gwen looked so much alike, I wondered if Marianne looked like an older version of her daughters. I hoped not. I seriously did not want to find myself in bed with Marianne, too, enough is enough. Next, I'll be sleeping with the grandmother, the aunt, and any cousins who show up on my doorstep. After having sex with three young women, the thoughts of me having sex with Marianne who was nearly 15 years older than me was not an appealing thought. I did the math. When I was 15-years-old and jail bait, Lynn's mom was 30-years-old. Then, when I shemale poonfarm was 30-years-old, Lynn's mom was 45-years-old. It seemed weird and a double standard that I was bothered by seeing myself with an older woman and not bothered by seeing myself with a woman half my age. It's a guy thing. Besides, lots of women see themselves with younger men shemale ass more than they do with older men. Then, again, women are more apt to be with older men for money and security than men are of a mind to be with older women for the same. I decided to tell Jamie. "Marianne called me." "Lynn and Gwen's mom?" "Yeah." "Yeah," she said eyeing me with a shemale gallery knowing look, "I figured she would." She looked at me, again, this time making eye contact. "Was that her on the phone the other day?" "Yeah," I returned her look. "I don't know why I didn't tell you then. It was, well, there was just so much going on with Gwen here and then you surprising me. Then, when Marianne called I said to myself, now what? What next?" "It's okay, Freddie. You're still not thinking straight. You're still in mourning. We all are which would explain this huge impromptu sexual orgy we all found ourselves in to some degree. In some convoluted way, I know that the only reason Gwen had sex with you was to feel a connection maybe that you shared with her sister." She looked like she was going to cry. "It hasn't been that long since Lynn—" I kissed and hugged her so that she did not have to finish the sentence. "So," I said with a laugh and a feigned hurt look on my face, "you don't think that Gwen was attracted to me? And that the only reason why she had sex with me was to feel connected to her sister?" "Yeah, no, I don't know. It makes sense, but then it doesn't make any sense but that is Gwen." She looked at my confused expression. "I'll put it in baseball terms. Gwen is to the family what Manny Ramirez is to the Red Sox. Any time any thing is unexplained, we all say, that's Gwen or that's so Gwen." "Oh, okay, I understand now." "She was a change of life baby for Marianne. Gwen had special needs, developmental issues growing up and stayed behind a year in school." "Yeah, I saw that about picture of shemale her. She didn't get some of my jokes. They went straight over her head." I contemplated the floor. "In that regard, she was nothing like her sister. Lynn was as quick witted as me and always volleyed my comments with a funny retort." We sat there silently not saying anything for some period of time, twenty minutes or so, until I broke the silence with a question. "So, you figured Marianne would call me?" I looked at her. "Why?" "Well, when Lynn and I were there visiting her to tell her that Lynn was pregnant, she was so happy for her. She was happy that someone like you had come in her life. It did not matter that you were so much older. She trusted Lynn's judgment," she said looking at me with a warm smile. Then, she looked away and back again, this time with a troubled face. "It mattered to her Dad, though. He was upset, which is why he probably is not coming to meet you and why he banned you from attending the funeral. He figured you were a pig taking advantage of his daughter, his little girl." Jamie contemplated the floor a long while before speaking, again. "Marianne felt bad about you not being at the funeral. She figured that you deserved to be there being so much a part of her daughter's life towards the end and she knew that Lynn would have wanted you there, too." "Yeah, well, I understand, I guess. I know that I'd be upset, too, if my daughter was having sex with a guy twice her age. Still, it hurt not being able to say a final good-bye to Lynn." I paused looking off in the distance thinking of Lynn's laugh. "I know how guys are and how they assume other guys are," I said looking at Jamie, "but I truly loved her." "I know you did," she reached over and took my hand. "Imagine how upset Lynn's father would be," I said looking over at Jamie and laughing, "if he knew what I just did his baby girl, Gwen." "Not as upset as he would be if he knew we both did Gwen," said Jamie with a laugh. We both laughed and making light of a terrible situation, that being the death of Lynn, made us feel a little better. We spent the remainder of the day doing nothing. The most we did was to have our coffee out on the back screened porch, talk, laugh, and throw a ball around with the dogs. After combating and satisfying Gwen's sexual needs, I needed a day like this. Only, I wanted to show Jamie a good time, too. I wanted to spend some quality time with her and have some memories of her incase this was the last time that we saw one another. I wanted to show her that I cared for her. I wanted to be intimate with her before she decided to leave, again, which I figured would be later tonight. She had a job to go to tomorrow. Moreover, much like Gwen, I truly figured that this could be the last time that I saw her and whatever private time we spent together today, may be our last. It was late afternoon when we decided to take a nap. Actually, we had no intention of napping. We just wanted an excuse to go fool around, not that we needed an excuse, but it was a subtle way for each of us to get what we wanted from the other without making one feel pressured. This way, while we were lying beside one another supposedly napping, if something else was to happen, then it did not seem planned, but spontaneous. Jamie was dressed in her usual attire a half unbuttoned blouse and a short skirt. She loved showing off her tits and her legs. Besides, feeling her up through her clothes while making out with her was one of my favorite things to do with Jamie or with any woman. Another favorite thing of mine to do was to undress her. I found that slowly removing her clothes as we made out, exceedingly erotic. Even if I had been with and seen a woman naked a countless number of times, feeling them up through their clothes before slowly stripping them off, always gave me an erection. There is something erotic about unbuttoning a blouse and seeing her bra and then unzipping her skirt and seeing her panty. I love kissing a woman when she is clad only in her panty and bra. Fooling around with her while she is in her lingerie is nearly as hot as slowly removing her bra and seeing her tits and/or peeling down her panties and seeing her pussy and ass. As soon as we climbed on the bed, we started fooling around, kissing, touching, and caressing. Obviously, neither of us had any plans on taking a nap. Touching her, feeling her, and kissing her blanked my mind. Where Gwen made me feel old, having sex with Jamie made me feel young. Even though there was only a two year difference in age between the women, it was obvious that Jamie was the more mature of the two. It was a relief that I did not have to slap her ass or squeeze her tits or pull and twist her nipples. I was so glad to have a fairly normal sexual relationship with Jamie, although having sex with someone half my age is not really normal. It is...un-fucking-believable. Quick someone get the smelling salts. Freddie has passed out again. C'mon, Freddie, snap out of it. Get back in there and fuck her. We know you can do it. Freddie, Freddie, Freddie... Oh, lucky me. Yet, I knew that all of this was coming to an end. Soon, I would be alone, again. Unfortunately, after having sex with these three lovely, young women, I would be unable to have a normal relationship with a woman my age. What a cruel joke it is to have these women practically throw themselves at me and then to have them fade away leaving me to solely rely on sexual gratification from women my own age. Before 23-year-old Gwen came into my life and 25-year-old Jamie reappeared, when I was alone and lonely, I suddenly felt old. Without them here, the house felt so empty and the joy and the laughter that filled me up completely last weekend was now gone from me. The quietness of the big, empty house was a constant reminder of how alone and lonely I was. Every day quickly became another mundane day with the same routine. It was as if someone had made their wish and blown out the candles at a birthday party and it was over that quickly. All of that build up, the Happy Birthday song was sung, the presents were opened, the cake was eaten, and now the guests were gone. The party was over. The sting of reality hurts more when you are without someone there to share your life. Everyone needs someone in their life. It felt as if it was closing time at the free tranny porn bar when the bright lights go on and it is time to go home. The reality of the outside world that lurked outside the bar and that hid in the dark recesses of the dimly lit, expansive room now shoved you back from your brief escape from reality. It was the same feeling when you are out in the street half drunk at 1am and you don't want the party to end, but everyone has gone home and you are alone. All of my friends have wives and kids and families. It's tough to party when there is no party and when the party is over. You did not feel drunk before when you were partying, but now you do because now you are alone. You are sick, you are tired, and you don't want to be alone. Yet, you are alone to stumble home drunk and disoriented. Well, that is my life with the loss of Lynn and then Jamie and now with the loss of Gwen and again Jamie for the second time. That is my reality and it sucks and I hate it. I hate living alone. I hate tranny sex being alone. I am the type of man who needs a woman in his life. I did not want the candles blown out, yet. I did not want to be lit up in the bright light and standing out front on the sidewalk. I did not want the party to end. After reveling in all this sexual, social, and fantasy activity, I feared being alone. In the dark recesses of my mind, when I was fucking Gwen and shemale movies making love to Jamie, loneliness haunted me. The sudden quiet when everyone is gone, finally, is deafening and debilitating. Loneliness is like a hunger that is never satisfied until you have someone in your life, again. Loneliness weakened my spirit like Kryptonite weakened Superman. I didn't mind looking in the mirror before when I was a young man, but now, as an old man, I don't want to see my reflection anymore. I hate my image and I hate having mirrors in my house that lurk in every room and that come to life as soon as I turn on the light. Now, never turning on a light, I walk around in the dark. What happened to me? I blinked and 25 years has passed me by. All that I did was blink. Where did the last twenty-five years go? Why couldn't I have met Lynn or Jamie or Gwen then? Ah, they weren't even born yet? Yes, of course, I know that. Then, free tranny movies why could I not have been born later? It's not fair. This sucks. This really sucks. I don't want to go home, live alone, and be alone with myself. I wanted to have slow, passionate sex with Jamie that would last forever. I wanted to make love to her instead of fucking her. I needed to know if there was something else there, something to take me to the next level with her, and something that would endure the length of time. Yet, even though the sex we had was hot, magical even, it paled in comparison to the sex that I had with Lynn. Yes, I love Jamie but not in the same way that I loved Lynn. I knew now that I would never replicate what I had with Lynn, with Jamie; my love affair with women was over and that my heart died when Lynn died. I cringed at the thought of being alone and lonely for the rest of my life. Suddenly, I saw myself as an embittered old man, a recluse who lived alone. How awful to have no one in your life, to be alone with your thoughts all day, every day. How awful to have no one else to ponder, care for, talk to, worry about, and laugh and relax with over a cup of coffee. With the tragic and sudden death of her, the love affair that I had with Lynn was over before it even started. Then, I looked to Jamie. Why did she return? Why did she come back to tease me with her beauty and charm? Now, that she had come and gone again, I wish she had stayed away because shemale lesbians the pain of her leaving the second time is worse and the loneliness is more severe than before. She was so very young and so very beautiful, surely not as beautiful as Lynn, but I could have loved her, maybe, one day. If only she had stayed for a while longer, another day, then another week, a month, and a year would have passed. Surely, then, I would have loved her and she me. Now, she is gone, too. Lynn, Gwen, and Jamie are all gone and I am alone with the dogs, transsexual pictures Seymour and Polo. Yes, I love my dogs, but they are not a fair exchange for hot, tranny gallery sexy, young women. It was almost 9pm when Jamie drove away Sunday night. But for the dogs, I was alone, again. Only, this time it was different. Maybe because the house was so alive with life, with Gwen and Jamie, and now suddenly so dead, this time it was worse than it was before. There was eeriness to the house, a feeling that stuck to the walls, the floor, and the ceiling like electro-magnetically charged dust. |